One of the missionaries from Uganda told me that if I didn’t feel any doubts or discouragements during the week of assessment with World Harvest not to be surprised if I did have them the couple of weeks following. Sometimes I do have doubts, but I truly believe the Lord has called me to go. However, I do sometimes questions whether or not this whole plan is not a little crazy. Part of my recent fear is the idea of giving up the job I JUST got! I mean it is the job I have been working SO HARD for for so long. Does it make any sense to just give that all up, leave my family and friends, and move to the middle of the African JUNGLE?! I was so encouraged yesterday by a blog post written by one of my team leaders in Bundibugyo.
“Often during the day I will look around at our surroundings and wonder why we are here. Sometimes this is with a little smile and a feeling of thankfulness for the opportunity to be somewhere and do something few in America will ever get to do. Sometimes it is with a furrowed brow and a quiver in the stomach thinking we need to pack the car and leave tonight. Who in their right mind would move their family to the center of Africa? What would compel someone to do such a thing?”
Amy goes on to describe WHAT and WHY they are in Bundi…
“I have been hoping to blog for sometime now on what we are doing. Yet, I could not find the words for it. In the heat of the battle, sometimes you forget why you are doing what you are doing. I feel I have some words for it now. It is simple. God loves us and calls us to see Him and love Him by showing his love to those who are forgotten. We are seeking to do so through teaching, healing, mentoring and sitting. We seek to be advocates to those for those who have no advocate. We begin to understand his grace as we extend his grace. We are freely giving to those who could never repay and at points have no idea that they even need help. We are giving Hope in a place that has had none for a long, long time. It is hard being here, but it is fulfilling. We need people willing to come and live life to the fullest with us here. We need a few good men (and women). “
I am SO in awe that God is allowing me to go and love the Ugandan people and the kiddos of the missionaries. God’s grace and love for me is overwhelming. I know Jesus is good, and even if everything would seemingly fall apart tomorrow, I still believe Jesus is good. Giving up my job and the security that it brings will be hard! Going to Uganda will be hard! But there will also be many joys and many beautiful pictures of redemption. I am excited to go and share the gospel and to remind myself of the gospel too! I know this year will have its ups and downs. There will be times that I can’t wait to go, and days where I think God has the wrong girl for the job! But I am thankful to have a Savior that loves me in spite of me and it doesn’t matter how I feel, or what I think or say or do. I am fully loved. Wow.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Yesterday I had an interview for either a fourth or fifth grade teaching position. I am SO excited to say that I go the job! Jesus is so sweet because I really left the interview feeling like I totally bombed it and I said "well Jesus I answered those questions so crapily, so if I do get the job I will KNOW it was ALL you." And indeed He does get ALL the glory. I called one of my friends to tell her the news and her dad was in the background saying, "Pamela finally has a big girl job!" I guess it is true..I finally have a big girl job :)
Posted by Pamela at 7:07 PM